Swabeng Thoughts: 60 Ways why It's Funny Living In The Philippines

I got this from fellow blogger and good friend Doc Albert. I will be including my insights here so as to give it a different interpretation. Also, I'll add some of my own here to make it more extensive. ^_^

Disclaimer: These are both our opinions and it has nothing to do with you (anonymous readers). ^_^

1. Ninety percent of the shows of our local TV channels comprises of soap operas.

--> Not necessarily true unless every time you open your TV, you look for it or probably you watch TV from 2:30pm-5:30pm and 8:00pm-10:30pm.

2. Ordinary people like a SM saleslady or a high school student carry two cellphones at the same time.
-->Even tricycle drivers carry two cellphones at a time with its basic unit amounting to around 1000 pesos and up.


3. Adults have an odd fascination to be cute by including unnecessary words such as "po" and "kaya" in what they are saying.
-->I'm guilty of it sometimes. Just trying to be polite even to people younger than me. ^_^

4. Celebrities who cannot sing can become best selling recording artists just by the stature of their fame.
-->I can't think of a good example. Willie Revillame perhaps.

5. Tsinelas is a fashion statement as long as it is Havaianas.
-->I cante help it but feel sorry for my Spartan brothers and sisters.

6. Taxi drivers have the right to refuse passengers with outrageous reasons such as "trapik," "kakain pa" and my favorite "di doon ang daan ko."
-->I hope LTFRB/LTO would strictly enforce laws regarding taxi drivers who refuse to take in passengers and give silly alibis.

7. A tv show that was suspended can continue with its airing with the same cast and format as long as it bears a new temporary show title.
-->All I can remember is Showtime.

8. The long forgotten career of Air Supply is very much alive in every home and karaoke joints.
--> I agree on this one. XD

9. People fulfill their overwhelming desire to be white by seeking the pharmaceutical aid of gluthatione.
-->If they have the money to spend, I don't think that's a problem.


10. FM radio stations are contaminated by loud, unfunny and jolog-speaking disc jockeys who obligatorily laugh at their own jokes.
--> That's why I listen to Hardcore stations like NU 107.5 and RJ 105.9

11. A pambahay is synonymous to a swimwear as evident by the t-shirt and shorts wearing females and basketball shorts clad men who frolic in public swimming pools and beaches.
--> No budget for Speedos definitely. hehe. XD

12. Local tv channels nowadays are like a peryahan with the mushrooming talent shows blatantly copied from Britain's Got Talent.
-->They may have copied it but it goes to show that Filipinos got not just talent but world class talent. I've been watching this show since its first airing and the semi-finals is really good. One thing about it though, its airtime is the same as "Talentadong Pinoy" which I also like watching. ^_^

13. Customers go to Starbucks not for the beverage but more for the purpose of human pollution.
-->Not to mention chick hunting XD. Sometimes, I'm guilty of this especially if I have to wait for a friend while sipping their hot, expensive drink. But the reason I go there more often especially during November and December is their Planner. I have 4 already dating back from 2007.

14. Students and most especially workers enjoy an insane number of breaks from holidays. This, considering we're a third world nation who needs to generate more money.
--> Some people need a break.

15. Despite being just an obvious marketing ploy by TV networks and film outfits, people still have a strong conviction that showbiz love teams are real.
--> No Comment. XD

16. A mother or yaya believes that a stranger who finds her baby cute should wipe his laway to the poor toddler to counteract the power of usog. Never mind if the laway is filthy and possibly infectious.
--> I just simply don't get the logic of this.

17. The poorer the family is, the greater number of members it has. Sex, therefore, is a national past time among those in the poverty line.
-->Blame it on lack of electricity on each home.

18. Action stars and comedians usually have in their films young leading ladies that could pass as their daughters in real life.
--> That's why they're my Idols. XD

19. Birit is regarded as the greatest form of musical talent.
--> I disagree on this. Not all biriteros are great singers.



20. A local woman who you see dating a white man in a mall most probably looks like a chimay.
-->Its very evident in Harrison Plaza. Chimay wont be the term but rather exotic. 

21. Noontime variety shows are polluted by noisy and shallow hosts, orchestrated clapping, moronic novelty theme songs, choreographed audience merrymaking, badly lipsynched song numbers, premeditated crying and retardate acting contestants.
-->Not all noontime variety shows are like that.

22. The best way to gain fame and fortune in showbiz and politics is by publicly declaring that you are "laki sa hirap" or "para sa mahirap." 
--> Not true. Some are just plain lucky. XD


23. Young people are into music whose lyrics they don't even understand. Music that superficially dwells on fancy clothes, flashy choreography and artists who spend most of their time trying to be cute on camera. 
-->K-Pop, J-Pop and the like really influenced kids of today.

24. An artista is not afraid of overexposure. Thereby, he or she can star in two to three shows in one day, aside from having a movie currently showing.
-->I think that's how they work really hard to pay their house, cars etc.


25. Local award shows for movies are polluted with inanities such as production numbers by the hottest teen stars that have nothing to do with the roster of film nominees and special awards like "Snacku Star Of The Night."
-->That makes the show longer.

26.  A person can become president solely by virtue of his parents' legacy.
-->He already did won. The only missing is his proclamation by either the Supreme Chief Justice or by any Baranggay Captain.

27. Only one type of local movies sells in the box office--- mediocre formulaic romantic flicks by Star Cinema.
--> True. That's why I'd rather watch Cable TV =P



28. A record or album can reach multi-platinum status despite containing mostly recycled materials.
--> I'd say not all. Some multi-platinun albums are really good. ^_^

29. The remnants of an overthrown dictatorship hold government positions. A once incarcerated former president has a chance to be reelected. A current leader who holds the highest position in the land is allowed to conspicuously run for a lower position.
-->Politics "Only in the Philippines"

30. A TV station is like a religion. People coined themselves as either a Kapuso or Kapamilya and wage war against each other for the sake of their beloved TV networks.
--> Only in the Philippines. XD

31. Every street corner can be transformed into an instant restroom. 

-->Applicable to all guys but not to the ladies unless the need is critical. 

32. A local singer who has appeared on Oprah is already regarded as an international music superstar with the caliber of a Britney Spears or Beyonce.

--> Probably yes unless they just want to be seen on TV. XD

33. A female celebrity who had a history of STD still shamelessly endorses a vaginal antiseptic/feminine wash.

--> I know who she is?!? XD

34. People have a strange fascination to make senseless world records such as "pinakamalaking buko pie" or "pinakamahabang ihawan."

--> They just wanted to be in the Guiness I guess. Nothing wrong with that. XD

35. Newly installed garbage bins, manhole covers, cables and street lamps disappear suddenly without a trace.

--> Just look at your nearest junk shop and you'll know the answers. XD

36. A new movie or TV show is being pitched by stars who basically have nothing to do with the said project.

--> Probably it would be for his/her onscreen partner. XD

37. Callers of radio stations greet people who ironically are just beside them.

--> Oops! Were kinda guilty but at least we were greeted on-air =P

38. Walking out from a TV show or an interview is a ploy to be controversial.

--> For me its just how to get attention. =P

39. An elected government official is only deemed to have lost from the previous election only when another poll is just around the corner.

--> I have no Idea. XD

40. Filipino entries included in contests via international online voting almost always win.

-->Not all Filipino entries win but one thing I know is that they have unity plus internet usage here is cheap. 

41. Girls who are not into rock music become fans of a rock band for the main reason that the lead vocalist is pogi.

-->There are bands that the drummer, guitarist or bassist are more good-looking than the vocalist. 

42. Salesladies in department stores wear terrible make up.

--> Unfortunately true. But there are Salesladies out there who are extremely hot XD

43. After years of staying in our country, Fil-Am and other foreign bred celebrities still cannot understand or speak Filipino.

-->Totally Disagree. My boss can speak and understand Tagalog though we still communicate with him in English.

44. Ladies who wear short skirts and shorts in public would cover up whenever they are sitting or riding the escalator.

-->They should wear long skirts instead. Those who wear shirts with plunging neckline should wear turtle -necks instead. 

45. Reality shows are havens for discovering flash in the pan disposable celebrities.

--> Seems this is the latest trend now a days.

46. Bands who perform at noontime variety shows are obliged to jam with the hosts.

--> A must probably? 

47. A career change for an actress is to pose for a men's magazine.

-->Its more of a stepping stone perhaps. 

48. A person with one mobile phone is a subscriber to two or three networks. (I always find it funny whenever I see people changing sim in his mobile phone whenever he wants to use or check out his other network.) 

-->I used to be guilty at this until I decided to keep only one sim (Globe).

49.  People get killed for the reason of "masama kung tumingin."

--> I almost get killed as well because of this. XD

50. Students review at Starbucks despite the obvious many distractions.

-->They don't review. They just go on chick hunting and oogling women with big breasts and nice butts. hehe. XD

51. It is natural for other people to spit in public.

-->Spit somewhere else (like Singapore) and you'll get fined. 

52. People are entertained by watching their favorite artista sing and dance to other people's songs during a Sunday noon.

--> Can't help it. Its Sunday anyway. XD

53. The more baduy an artista is, the more money he or she makes.

-->Not all. There are those who just vanished from the spotlight.

54. Nothing beats the sumptuousness of suka or sawsawan of street foods. (Maybe it's all those microorganisms that make them tasty.)

--> Isaw, kwek2 FTW XD

55. Items from hotels, airlines and restaurants are taken home for souvenirs by its patrons.

-->Of course. They want to get their money's worth. XD

56. People love crying, making a person cry and seeing other people cry on national TV. (Most of the time, the scene is equipped with a sad and melancholic background music.) 

--> This really sucks especially if celebrities do it. 

57. A reality show contestant will most likely win if he or she is poor.

--> Almost but not quite. XD

58. Bikers think they are also pedestrians by the manner they outmaneuver their motorcycles on the road.

--> Some are true to some extent. 

59. People over react to a satire or parody without considering we are also a nation of racists and pintasero.

--> I cant help it but to agree.

60. We are a country who loves vacation. Where else can you see a Monday being made into a holiday if the said holiday originally falls on a weekend?

-->Only in the Philippines an ex-President can change the day of the holiday.