Swabeng Tips: Handling Unwanted Friend Requests

For the past few months, I've been receiving several friend requests in facebook. Most of them are from people I don't know personally. Though I don't mind accepting friend requests, there are times I find it really annoying especially if the name is fictitious and the pictures are so fake. When I saw this from CNN, what a good timing as most people wanted to know how to handle these kinds of requests.

With that, we give you: The Ultimate Guide to the Unwanted Friend Request:


How to handle unwanted friend requests
By Andrea Bartz and Brenna Ehrlich, Special to CNN

Taken from Google

Option 1: Ignore

Freud was totally on to something with that whole repression thing. Treat this friend request like all the other vaguely uncomfortable social issues hovering around your shoulders like miniature dementors (the implied ask-out from that weird girl at work! That college student's persistent requests for an informational interview! The voice mails of murmured Fiona Apple lyrics you keep leaving on your ex-girlfriend's phone when you've been hitting the sauce!) and sweep the whole thing under the rug.

Facebook even makes this the default now -- instead of totally rejecting a request, you simply hit "Not now," relegating it to the realm of "hidden requests." Hey, maybe your clueless would-be amigo will just think you never log into the ol' Book of Face.


Option 2: Accept -- with caution

If you don't feel comfortable relegating your contact to Friend Request Limbo, you can instead send him or her to the halfway house of your limited profile. Then you tell Facebook to, for example, not let certain people read the stupid things your friends post on your wall. Mark Zuckerberg, of course, made this way more difficult than it needs to be.

OK, deep breath: If you don't already have a Limited Profile list, click on "more" next to "Lists" in the left-hand column and then click "Create a list." Name it "Limited Profile," "Professional contacts," "Creepers," whatever. Now surf on over to "privacy settings" under the arrow that's always on the upper right.

Now [another gasp] click on Privacy settings, "edit settings" next to "How you connect," and, next to the last option ("Who can see Wall posts by others on your profile?"), click "custom" and then provide the list name under the option "Hide from." Now accept your frenemy's friendship, hover your mouse over "Friends" and select your stealth list from the drop-down menu. This just takes care of others' wall posts -- you have to go through a whole 'nother rigmarole to block your photo albums, for example.

Well, now that we're exhausted and in need of more caffeine from writing that all out, I think we can all acknowledge that Facebook privacy settings suck and this is probably the least time-efficient solution. But hey, if your boss really will freak out if you don't hit Accept, it may be worth the trouble.


Option 3: Reject, and speak up

Sometimes, a little apologetic explanation will soothe the sting of rejection. Give the person you just turned down a legit-sounding excuse the next time you see them in person (or get them on the phone).

"As a rule, I'm not really Facebook friends with people I know professionally, but let me add you on LinkedIn" is a perfectly reasonable thing to say, for example. Just do the explaining in an oh-by-the-way tone (NOT in a Facebook message or e-mail -- too awkward) and the person will mirror your niceness. We hope.


Option 4: Clean up, already

Cue the Mom Voice: If you're really not happy with the sloppy disaster of a profile you're presenting, it might be time to clean up your image.

Remember, recruiters and employers have an almost uncanny ability to find pictures and updates that you thought were private. (Mind-blowing actual exchange in Facebook's official Q&A: I set my photo album to Friends, but others are seeing, liking and commenting on my photos. The FB team responds with the digital equivalent of a dismissive wave of the hand.) And snap after snap of you passed out next to a toilet (or updates gleefully recounting your vomitacious episodes) are just, well, trashy.

Rule of thumb: Don't put anything on Facebook that you wouldn't want your aunt/boss/creepy neighbor seeing, even if you give them the big Reject.

Just make sure to be always aware when accepting friend requests.

I have received an email from The Modern Man and I wanted to share this to you guys ^_^

Taken from Google

7 Weird Behaviors from Men on Facebook

If you're looking to impress women on Facebook - don't make these mistakes!

 

It has been fairly-well established that human beings are weird. We may be the brainiest species that walks the Earth, but we also never seem to fail at baffling each other with our unusual behaviors. Now, with a platform such as Facebook, every little quirk becomes a public spectacle for all to savor.

Since The Modern Man is all about us men in the modern world, I've put together an article outlining 7 weird behaviors you’re almost sure to see from your male Facebook friends. If you're looking to impress women on Facebook, don't be like these guys:

The ‘I Take Photos of Myself’ Guy

There’s probably no faster way to say to everyone, “Hey, I’m lonely and don’t have any friends in the real world!” than holding your camera out in front of you with an outstretched arm andtaking photos of yourself alone.

Likewise, when a guy is out in public situations and routinely holds out the camera to take a photo of him and his girlfriend, it can say a lot about his social confidence. Other women are thinking things like, "Does he not have the balls or basic social skills to ask someone nearby to take a photo for him and his girl?"

When posting things to your Facebook, remember that it is similar to a real-life social interaction: You are being judged, your social status is being affected by your actions and your true personality is being picked up on by those around you.

The ‘I Like What I Just Did’ Guy

This is the guy who spends hours scouring the web for inspirational quotes or quirky one-liners to put on his Facebook page. He often clicks the ‘Like this’ button whenever he publishes a new Facebook status and does the same for articles and video clips he posts to his Facebook wall. This is narcissism at its best and usually comes from guys who laugh at their own jokes in person, or desperately crave to be praised by others.

Women pick up on this weakness. Remember: You are cool when other people say you are cool, not when you say you are.

The ‘Look at My Girlfriend’ Guy

Posting a picture of you and your girlfriend is absolutely fine. In fact, when done right - it will help increase your social status, make other women want you and make guys show you more respect on Facebook and in person.

However, some guys get it all wrong and publish a photo album comprising entirely of random snapshots of their girlfriend. Candid photos, mug shots and sometimes blurred imagery (that really should have been deleted from the camera!) make up the album.

The best solution for guys who want to show off their hot girlfriend: Post up photos of you and your girlfriend doing interesting things together. Remember: The audience for your photos is your Facebook Friends and they want to look at the interesting things that YOU have seen or experienced in your life, not just snapshots of your girlfriend who they probably have never met or will never meet.

The ‘Pity Me’ Guy

This is the residential “Look at me - My life is so pitiful” friend you have on your Facebook list. He makes status updates like, “I have ulcers on my lips. Now I can’t eat!” or “Why is my boss such a prick to me?”

He joins Facebook groups on a regular basis, hoping that he’ll come across some new people who will lavish some pity on him when he makes a post to the Group Wall. If you ever try to tell him to suck it up, get a grip and be a man – you’ll give him exactly what he wants: Pity and attention.

Women smell this weakness a mile away and it turns them off at a fundamental level. The guy is essential behaving like a girl by seeking for pity for random things (girls do this as emotional reaction to their lives, instead of reacting logically and trying to look for solutions. Men are expected to be logical, in control and seek solutions to their problems instead of be emotional like a girl).

The ‘Insta-Reply’ Guy

This is the guy who instantly replies to his own posts, before anyone has a chance to even look at them. This is perceived as the guy being insecure, lonely and in dire need of some attention, which is obviously not cool.

Greg Lawrence is going to mow his lawn in the sweltering heat. 10 seconds ago.
Greg Lawrence Likes This. 5 seconds ago.
Greg Lawrence: I hope I can survive the heat. 3 seconds ago.

This type of guy routinely updates his Facebook page and yaks about his day. Not only are we subjected to his childish thoughts, but we also have to watch as he engages in a mindless conversation with himself. Last time I checked, talking to oneself is a classic symptom of a psychotic disorder. Simply wait until someone replies to your wall post before you comment on it.

The Guy Who Still ‘Pokes’

‘Poking’ and turning your friends into vampires were crazes when Facebook first started to become popular. Everyone started poking around and it was an accepted behavior. No one was spared. People even ‘threw cows’ at their friends and the friends reciprocated the gesture by ‘choke slamming’. People then made nice by serenading each other with a virtual song while sitting under the moonlight. But guess what? Poking on Facebook is no longer cool.

What is cool now? Being friendly with people, commenting on someone's photo album when no-one else does, posting up cool photos of stuff you've done, cracking some jokes........and most of all - not using Facebook TOO MUCH. If you want to be seen as a man, don't post everyday like a girl. instead, be active (comment on other people's stuff, post up something cool) on Facebook once or twice a week.

The ‘Overzealous Gamer’ Guy <-- This is where I belong XD

No doubt, Facebook games have taken over the world in their own little way. In fact, many people log on to Facebook ONLY to indulge in games such as Mafia Wars, Café World, Farmville, Restaurant City and Bejeweled. Claiming the top spot has become a priority and obsession for some gamers. They clock more hours playing these games than interacting with actual living friends.

Of course, how modern men choose to spend their own leisure time and working hours is entirely their choice, but it is pretty alarming how many guys are avoiding their desire to socialize and hook up with women to work on a virtual farm.

Now, check where you belong XD. 

Are you a Facebook addict?

I never imagined I was really addicted with facebook especially with all the gamesive been playing for the past couple of months especially this past 2-3 months. After I read this from Yahoo (http://ph.news.yahoo.com/abs/20091020/tph-are-you-a-facebook-addict-85c5a6c.html), I was thinking if I need to cut some time here or not.

MANILA - Facebook users beware. Psychologists are now probing a new kind of addiction called Facebook Addiction Disorder (FAD).


Psychologist Dr. Michael Fenichel, who has published numerous writings on FAD online, describes it as a situation in which Facebook usage "overtakes" daily activities like waking up, getting dressed, using the telephone, or checking e-mail.


"The amazing thing is that, like cellphones, nobody seems to notice the vast amount of time and energy - at work, at home, and now while on the move - people are devoting to Facebook. It has become a given," Fenichel writes in an online post titled "Facebook Addiction Disorder- A New Challenge?"


FAD could be classified under the more broad "internet addiction disorder" or internet overuse.
Academic papers have already posed theories on internet addiction and social networking addiction, and even less, cellphone addiction.


"Like most activities, moderation and integration are key. Those that may seriously label and treat FAD as a behavioral addiction will clearly need to use context in determining if a behavior has become demonstrably harmful to overall social, work, or face-to-face interpersonal efficacy," Fenichel added.


You are a Facebook addict if...


According to Joanna Lipari, a clinical psychologist at the University of California, Los Angeles who was interviewed for a CNN report, here are some signs that you are addicted to Facebook:


1. You lose sleep over Facebook. When using Facebook becomes a compulsion and you spend entire nights logged on to the site, causing you to become tired the next day. (I go online mevery morning till afternoon XD)



2. You spend more than an hour a day on Facebook. Lipari said it is difficult to define how much is too much when it comes to Facebook usage, but that an average person need only spend half an hour on the site. (I spend at least 4 to 6 hours a day for all the games)



3. You become obsessed with old loves or exes you reconnect with on Facebook. (As far as I know, I dont have any exes connected to me here XD)



4. You ignore work in favor of Facebook. This means you do not do your job in order to sneak time on Facebook. (Not really, I just make sure to finish my job ahead of schedule XD)



5. The thought of getting off Facebook leaves you in cold sweat. If you try going a day without Facebook and it causes you stress and anxiety, this means you need help. (The only day I dont get to logon to facebook is on a Sunday but I dont mind ^_^)



According to the same report by Elizabeth Cohen, Senior CNN Medical Correspondent, Facebook addiction is not yet an actual medical diagnosis.
However, the report notes that several therapists in the United States have noticed a rise in the number of clients who get hooked on social networking, to the point of social dysfunction.


Facebook fun


Facebook, launched by the world's youngest billionaire Mark Zuckerberg, has over 300 million users worldwide, half of whom log on to the site every day.


Further, about 2 billion photos and 14 million videos are uploaded on various Facebook pages a month and about 6 billion minutes are spent on Facebook a day, worldwide.


According to Willis Wee, founder of the social media and marketing blog Penn-Olson.com, this is twice as much time that people spend on Google.


The global social networking website allows users to post and share content (like photos, links, videos, and notes), play casual games and applications, and interact with friends and family through messaging and chat. abs-cbnNEWS.com. With reports from CNN.com.

I'll try my very best to cut its usage from 6 hours to 5 hours to 4 hours to 3 hours. XD

Top 10 Most Annoying People on Facebook

I just passed by this site since I remembered something about the most annoying people in facebook on the news. I couldn't help it but to agree to some extent. This came from the link: (http://thatssofetch.com/2008/09/top-10-most-annoying-people-on-facebook)

Enjoy ^_^

Facebook was the greatest social networking site ever when it originally launched in 2004.  There was no mini-feed obnoxiously “updating” you with irrelevant information and no high-schoolers or parents.  With the new facebook and an even further step in the wrong direction, it’s still the people that make it sometimes unbearable.  I can’t hate on Facebook too much though - TSF does have a facebook group.  I even have a Facebook profile myself - but I can 100% guarantee I do not constitute one of the people on this list.

Out of the say 500 friends you have on Facebook, you probably care about maybe 50 of them.  Seeing updates every 30 minutes from your first girlfriend in 7th grade is something I know I love logging in to.  It’s funny how much people think we care about their lives.  Why else do you think we enjoy movies so much?  Because the average person’s life is a bore-fest.

10. 1000+ Pictures Self-Tagger

Tagging yourself in a picture is acceptable to a limit.  Use your discretion.  But having 1,000+ pictures of yourself is not only lame, it’s unequivocally narcissistic.  We know your cool with your 2,000+ friends list - we don’t need to be reminded by 1,000+ pictures of you standing in front of your mirror striking poses and eating dinner with your friends.

9. Parents/Teachers

To quote Mean Girls: “seeing a teacher outside of school is like watching a dog walk on its hind legs”.  Getting a friend request from your Geology professor is not only creepy and unsettling, but it’s annoying.

8. Embarrassing Photo Tagger

Respect people’s privacy.  We’ve all been there:  hammered and unaware there’s a camera around.  Don’t act like you haven’t passed out on a toilet naked with a German hooker once or twice.  It’s just common decency to not plaster these images across the internet of your so-called friends.

7. Internet PDA Couple/Kissing Profile Picture

I can’t even begin to express everyone’s disinterest in your love life and seeing you playing tonsil hockey with your lame boyfriend.  But I guess anything is better than your past few profile pictures including a beer bong, short skirt and keg stand, “finger in the mouth seductive look” or a combination of all three.

6. Creepy Guy Who Somehow Figures Out Your Last Name

There should be some sort of friend adding rule.  It’s extremely taboo If I meet you in class and only told you my first name, then I get home to a friend request from you.  This immediately earns you a spot on my “creepy” list because you obviously searched for my last name for hours on my network search.

5. 30-Minute Status Changer

“JANE DOE is walking my dog then meeting the girls for lunch!!!”  No one cares.  Is that difficult for these people to understand?  Your life isn’t interesting and people on the internet have no interest in what you are doing today outside of saving a baby from a burning building or developing a cure for cancer.

4. The “Kissing Face” Girl (a.k.a. “Pucker Face”)
4a. Gang Signs

Every picture you take you pretend as if you are kissing someone.  Why?  I’m not sure.  Is this sexy?  No, it is not.  Maybe you’re self-conscious about your lips not being full enough and you overcompensate for this by puckering up in all of your pictures.  And the gang signs have got to go - you’re a 19-year-old Caucasian female from an all white suburb in a Sorority - trust me, it’s not cool.

3. On-And-Off Relationship Changers

It’s funny when people think that we care if you are still in a relationship.  This goes back to the “your life is boring” theme of this post.  You aren’t famous.  You and your boyfriend aren’t J-LO and whatever marginally talented guy she’s boning.  If you and your boyfriend/girlfriend are on and off, do us a favor and  just leave your relationship status blank.

2. High-Schoolers

You shouldn’t be allowed to have a social networking page until you are 18.  Getting a friend request from your 13-year-old cousin or having your younger sibling on Facebook is just obnoxious.  It’s kinda like walking into a 21 and up bar - we don’t have to worry if the chicks are 18 or not.  Same should go for Facebook.  It’s a win-win.

1. The Philosophical/Political Note Writer/Political Propagator

Politics are annoying enough in person, but some dude from my freshman year English class waxing political is extremely dissatisfying.  Writing a note every 2 days about how Obama or McCain sucks isn’t going to change anyone’s opinion - it’s just going to further solidify your place in life as an arrogant asshole.  This goes the same for the people who create political groups and send invites to everyone on their friends list.  I appreciate the enthusiasm - but leave your political insights at the proverbial internet door.